I get told that I’m weird often. Very often. So often that I’ve come to wear it as a badge of honor almost. There isn’t another one of me out there. I process things differently. Sometimes, I have to remind myself to not say certain things out loud for fear of just freaking people the hell out. I enjoy a lot of different things and a lot of different people and I enjoy remaining an enigma, liable to say any damn thing at any moment if time. I enjoy not being predictable, run-of-the-mill or ordinary.
But then there are those days -- like today -- when I just want to be got. I need to be able to be upset and have someone know exactly why… someone who knows what the crux of the issues is, even if I don’t. I want to be able to talk for hours to someone about how Joni Mitchell moves me and not feel like I’m being thought of as a poser or a dork. Just on days like today, I want to be able to cry hysterically and not feel like I had to explain why, even to myself. I want to not have to lose hair over the fact that I may have unwittingly offended someone I care about because they just get that I am naïve and stupid and whatever it was, I didn’t mean it the way it came out. I want to be encouraged, without being talked down to.
Today, I want someone to tell me it’ll be alright and I want to be able to believe them. just today,
Thursday, July 17, 2008
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