Can't Get it Right Today -- Joe Purdy

As every day passes, my chances of remaining in this country that i have grown to love and in which i had planned to live well into the foreseeable future diminish like a fading star.

For those of you fortunate enough to not be familiar with the US Immigration process, here's a little recap. You study for four (or in my case, five) years -- bust your ass to get the best grades so you're never passed up for any internship or scholarship opportunities. You spend all four summers interning, missing out on all of those road trips and summer vacations that you'll never again have time or chance to take. You participate in co-ops and extra credit assignments and you head up organizations and fundraisers and community services activities, all in the vain hope that when it comes down to it, you'll be deigned worthy to be given full-time employment at a prestigious firms which will file for you with the INS to change your immigration status from bastard-student (the dreaded F-1 visa) to glorified-worker (the much sought-after H-1B visa).

Now, even if you were so lucky as to find that firm that is willing to spring the couple thousand dollars it costs to file for you (and many firms are not, by the way). you now have to contend with every other newly graduated hopeful because your name goes into a great big ol' ballot-box. Yup, all your hard work and fun-less summers boil down to a simple lottery. A game of chance. A roll of the dice.

So it is that i find myself, sitting and waiting, checking on the status of my case every 15 minutes, in the hope that some random USCIS employee just happened to find my application lying at the bottom of some pile 3 minutes ago, stamped it (or whatever it is they do) and has forwarded it on to whomever these things get forwarded to, thus putting me out of my misery. This has not happened yet, so in the meantime, i have to put up with having the conversation, "Have you heard yet? My friend XYZ just found out -- do you maybe want to check again? It's getting pretty late in the game. When last did you check??" every 30 seconds.

Oh, did I neglect to mention what happens if you are not blessed with this heaven-sent visa? Yeah, you have to leave. Do not pass 'Go'. Do not collect $200. Which, in my case, would mean, selling a house (or renting it out and becoming a remote landlady), finding a place to live in a country to which i have not been in at least 6 years (more, depending on which country we're talking about), saying bye to the friends and siblings whom i have grown to depend on for life (basically), potentially finding a new job and generally, pulling my life up from the root. If i could only find a way to develop acceptance (or resignation) that whatever happens is for the best, the next few waiting days might not seem quite so life-alteringly interminable.

What I'm Listening to Now: "Good Life" by Francis Dunnery. It's from the SCRUBS soundtrack -- need i say more? Guy breaks up with girl only to discover years later that it was probably the worst decision he ever could have made. Simple guitar, great vocals, great lyrics. Have a listen, it's gorgeous.